Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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