he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize