i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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