I want to stick my p in your. b.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
