Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize