But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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