i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
