Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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