does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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