Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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