We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
nut hugger
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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