So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize