she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize