so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he laminated a picture of his dick.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
