she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
