Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
