Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
