Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
