worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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