can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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