kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
