I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
