nutella sex= disaster
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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