dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
