If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Do vagina's smell?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
