i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize