big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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