Please, let me fuck your mom
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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