Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
