he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
