I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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