after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
