Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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