I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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