Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
