Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize