If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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