Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
