i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
