his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
