It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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