Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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