My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
