So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
