All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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