My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
