forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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