just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
