My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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