Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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