if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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