I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
