Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
