Can i not drive my cunt home
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
