Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
